Father’s fear of delivery

My wife really wants me to attend the birth but I am completely apprehensive about it. How do I know that I will cope?

It is completely normal to be afraid of labour and birth. Unless you belong to the medical profession, you are probably completely out of your depth in this situation. If you ask other men who are in a similar situation, they will most likely have similar feelings. The good news is that if you ask men whose partners have already delivered their babies, the vast majority will tell you that although they were apprehensive, their fears were in vain. We have all heard stories of men who could not cope with the delivery of their child, but they are the exception rather then the rule. Men do faint and get ill when their wives are delivering, but very very few of them.

In fact one of the best things you can do for yourself is to chat to other fathers, and hear a large variety of stories. This will help you be prepared for the uncertainty of the delivery room. Many things can happen in there, and the trained staff are aware and prepared for that. So it would help for you to be just as prepared. Read up so that you understand the stages of labour, and the implications of the situations that arise.

It is likely that your wife will appreciate your efforts, and will enjoy being able to discuss her own fears and the scenarios that she envisages. This would also be a good time to discuss your wife’s birth plan, so that you know what she hopes for. It may be that you can ensure that things go her way if possible.